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Bad parent

July 13th, 2006 at 10:07 pm

I was thinking today what a bad parent
I am.Its very depressing.I dont think it would be so bad if all my kids were grown because then I could say well I really messed up.But only one is older & I keep wondering were I went wrong.
He's 21 lives at home.He left school last year.It was a special school for kids ith disabilities & he was lucky to get in.I was so upset he went & moved in with his dad.Now the only thing negative I have ever said about his dad is never & I mean NEVER sign a contract of any sort with him.I told him he could have his car when they showed me proof of insurance.We gave him a car when he was 16, a saturn.He says no he will get his own car him & his dad.So he signs a contract, finances everything even tax, tag & title for 6 yes --6 years.Its like a 2004 truck.His payments are 320.00 a month his insurance is 175.00 a month.
So of course he comes back home to live with this huge truck payment.
He went to work at kmart.He thought if he did a good job they would move him to full time.After he gets there he figures out no one gets full time.They keep scheduling him for 3 hours a day,which is not worth the gas.Somedays he gets 8 it varies.So he quits no 2 week notice no call just doesnt show up.
So he goes & gets a job at the local carwash.They work him everyday but Sundays.But if it gets slow they will send him home & when it rains they close.
I am so disappointed .What good did all the lessons do,the moral lessons.The work ethic? I taught him to be on time, not to badmouth an employer,to give a notice.An if he didnt hear are get any of those lessons how do I know these kids are getting any of them I had alot more time with the firat.

6 Responses to “Bad parent”

  1. contrary1 Says:

    You can only teach, you can't make someone learn. There is a huge difference. Some people are always ready to learn, some are never ready.

    My own son is still in the never ready category, I'm sorry to say. And, he's 24. All I can do is live my life the best I can & hope he gets a glimmer some day! I just hope I live long enough to see him get his act together!

  2. princessperky Says:

    I am sure I caused my mother lots of heartache when I was in my teens, but eventually I came around, might not be everything mom hoped for, but I don't seem to be doing too bad.

    There are no guarantees..I wish there were! but there arn't.

    http://princessperky.savingadvice.com/2006/06/19/an-end-to-a-bad-week_10248/

    a post I wrote when complaining about the lack of guarantee if your interested.

  3. Jane Says:

    You love your son and you did your best raising him and now you're worried about the direction he's going in. You are NOT a "bad parent"! All the above means you're the opposite of a bad parent.

    Mine are all grown and on their own now. I look at some of their choices and think "that isn't what we taught you!", but they are finding their own way in the world and lots of times we try to teach our children things so they won't have to find out the hard way, but in the end the only way they really learn it IS the hard way. And to be truthful, it was that way for their father and me also, in our day.

    Keep your chin up, you're a good parent!

  4. Homebody Says:

    Well I have three grown daughters, 27, 25 and 18. My youngest just got married after we spent thousands on her private education and sports. She married on July 4th (we were supportive and paid for it, had 13 day to plan it!) and her husband shipped out to Iraq this week.

    That's the thing about parenting. We only teach them and then they make their choices. Sometimes they are not what we would choose. At that point it is OUR choice to support them in what makes them happy and help them in their journey OR NOT.

    Like Jane says, sometimes they have to make their own mistakes and that IS the hardest thing to let them do.

  5. miclason Says:

    You can have 10 children and teach them the same, and they'll all turn out different!...there really are no guarantees...I guess what truly makes a good parent is to try to give your child the best lessons possible!...so, I'd say you're a good parent...there is a saying in Spanish: nadie aprende en cabeza ajena (you cannot learn from others mistakes)...some people NEED to make their own mistakes to learn... Hopefully, your child can learn from these past experiences!
    Good luck and hugs to you!

  6. beans6 Says:

    Thanks again everyone for making me feel better.I guess I just didnt realize it would be so hard to let him make his own mistakes. I so wish he could learn from mine but your right it doesnt work that way. As always I will continue to pray for him.

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